String Of Pearls Lyrics

She swings the string of pearls on the corner 
The street lights reflect the light in the water 
The string it snaps and the pearls go sailing 
And they splash and bounce and roll 'cross the wet street 
As she bends to chase the pearls a car swings 'round the corner 
She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver 
Who's racing to the delivery room 
'Cause in the back seat his wife is busting out of her womb 
And the sack breaks and out come the Siamese Twins 
Who grow up to become the first President 
With two heads, are better than one 
He puts his heads in his hands, says I got to put my heads together 
I can become the best President ever 
And not just President, fend for yourself 
Signs his name, takes the blame for all of the names with no shame 
In their beliefs, they adjourn and they leave, and in walks a man 
With a broom and a knife and blood on his hands 
And he sweeps everything under the rug 
And goes home to his kids and gives them a hug 
But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter 
That said "you'd be much better off without me" 
Now his wife took the train to her ex-lover's funeral 
Who died in the bathroom, hit his head on a urinal 
When they got together, the knowledge was carnal 
And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight 
And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting 
And the preacher just left in the middle of the service 
'Cause death was one thing, but women made him nervous 
And he ran to his car and he drove 'round the corner 
Then something in the street caught the light in his eye 
He pulled over, reached down, and picked up a pearl from the gutter 
And he didn't know what to think 
And he brought it home and washed it in the sink 
And he gave the pearl to Sister Mary Teresa 
Who could not accept it so she gave it to Lisa, 
A young prostitute who was missing a pearl 
On the necklace that broke late last night